The other day as I was doing sprints up and down my street I saw a woman who had been watching me lean over to her friend as I passed by and I heard, “See, look! She’s crazy!” For some running up and down a street as fast as you can or pushing your body to run a long distance to the point of blistering feet is considered crazy. But for me, it offers me sanity. This is my time for me alone. My time to relax, to meditate, to work through my week.
This made me think of the other times I have been called crazy. Crazy to work full time and have two young kids. Or crazy to finish my last year of university with a baby. But maybe it is all in perspective? Maybe my crazy is not your crazy. Maybe we all have our own definitions of what works and doesn’t for our lives. For some, working full time as a mom is crazy but maybe for others it would feel just as crazy to be a full time stay at home mom. For some going to school for a degree or more is crazy while others feel like it would be crazy not to get as much education as they can.
To me the thought of more than two kids right now seems crazy. But maybe to you, the more the merrier! Some might think my idea of letting kids play in the mud and use copious amounts of glitter crazy. But maybe I think the idea of your perfectly spotless house is crazy.
I think we all have unique situations which require unique responses. We are not cookie cutter people. We have our own parenting styles, personalities, and family dynamics. One can hardly expect a single mom with little family supports to make the same choice as a two parent family with two sets of very involved grandparents. But yet, it often seems that as a society we really do have these expectations.
I know families who one partner works insane hours or away from home so the one parent can be home full time. While this is ideal for them, others imagine this scenario as crazy. To my partner and I, what seemed best was to work our schedule so we could trade off and only have them in daycare 3 days of the week. For us this is what worked best.
I guess what I am trying to say is, my crazy is not your crazy. And your crazy is probably not mine. We are all just trying to do our best and make it in this challenging phase of our lives as parents. It can be hard enough to get through our days, make choice after choice without feeling judged.
We are already our harshest critics, so why add to the pressure?
From one crazy person to another, hang in there!